Slowly, and All at Once
by Berrica
Summary: Extended scene for episode 5x22, The Beginning in the End. This is how I wish that last scene at the airport had gone.


**Hello everyone.**

 **Wow, it's been a while since I've written any fanfiction, and even longer since I've been in the Bones 'verse. Way back when, in the early seasons, I loved the show, couldn't get enough. Then stuff happened, I got annoyed, and let my attention lapse, until I finally stopped watching around the end of season 6. But recently, I was reminded how awesome it used to be, so I started with the pilot episode and have been working my way back through the series.**

 **All that to say, this is sort of an alternate ending for episode 5x22, The Beginning in the End. Or, maybe an episode tag? Extended scene, yeah, we'll go with that. It takes place at the very end of the episode, as Brennan is saying goodbye in the airport. Almost all the dialogue is pulled from the actual episode, but I've added my own interpretations, and some other stuff, in there as well. You'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy.**

 **Oh, yeah, and by the way, I don't own Bones or any of the characters.**

* * *

"Dr. Brennan, we really have to go."

"Yes." Her reply came too quickly, her voice roughened by the tears threatening to pool in her eyes. She cleared her throat, glancing down in the hope that no one would notice.

She really thought he'd come to see her off.

She looked down at her bag, then back out to the overflowing airport lobby. Still no sign of him. Allowing herself to stall one last time, she bent over to adjust a zipper. Needlessly, really. She knew everything was perfect. She had packed and repacked about a thousand times, until she was satisfied she had everything she needed. Well, almost everything.

Her gaze lifted again to the people milling around her. Where was he? She lingered over her bag, fiddling, desperately scanning the crowd for her missing partner. Ex-partner? Partner-on-hiatus? Friend wasn't quite an adequate description. She didn't know how to categorize him. She never had, and that was part of the problem.

There! She only caught a glimpse of army camo before someone walked between them, interrupting her view, but she knew it was him. She froze mid-breath, staring at that spot until the woman cleared her line of sight, watching as he slowed to a stop, knowing he was looking for her, too. His hands anxiously wrung his hat as he met her eyes, as if unsure of his welcome.

She let the air out of her chest in a huff, the tears once again threatening to make an appearance. She tried to reign them in as she slowly stood straight. She wasn't sure she could do this. Then he started walking towards her, and she couldn't not. She forgot the people around her, forgot her friends, forgot the plane she was going to board. Her world narrowed to that man in that uniform, her sudden need to reach him as desperate a need as air in that moment. She vaguely heard Daisy call her name as she started to move, but nothing could stop her now.

He halted and greeted her breathlessly as she closed the remaining distance between them, eyes searching her face. She wasn't sure what he read there. He had always know her better than she had known herself. Whatever it was made him keep his hands clasped behind his back, as if not trusting them to behave if they were free.

"Sorry. Couldn't get a pass. I had to sneak off the base to come say goodbye." He paused a moment, and she looked down briefly, shoving away thoughts of what that would mean for him and why he would have taken that kind of risk just to see her. But he was here, and she couldn't bring herself to look away for more than a moment. Meeting his eyes again, she gave him a small, tender smile of gratitude and sadness, the same sadness she could see in his face.

"Listen, Bones." He hesitated, taking a deep breath, his sudden intensity cluing her into the importance of his next words. "You gotta be careful there in that Indonesian jungle, okay?"

"Booth," she protested, shaking her head slightly, incredulity making her pause. How could he even be worried about her right now? It defied all logic. She knew what he had ahead of him. That uniform wasn't for show. He'd be in far more danger than she ever would, no matter how deep into the jungle she went. She looked down again, then met his eyes squarely, her own intensity shining through. "In a week you're going to a war zone." She stopped again, letting her silence emphasize her point. "Please don't be a hero." His slow nod wasn't really an agreement, so much as an acknowledgement of her concern. She let her desperation leak into her voice as she begged again. "Please, just..." Her voice cracked, and she shook her head again. "Don't be you."

He gulped, and took another small step forward, and for a second she thought he was going to kiss her, desperately wished he would. For a second, she even thought she would let him. But desperation was quickly overcome by a fear that was all too familiar to her, so once more she broke his gaze, guilt keeping her from watching the disappointment she knew would be filling his eyes. She could feel the tears threatening again, her heart breaking a little more, hating herself for causing this pain in both of them, but unable to trust herself enough to give in to her desire.

Movement in the space between them grabbed her attention as he held out his hand. She caught hold, amazement overwhelming all other emotion as she squeezed his fingers. How he knew she needed that lifeline, that point of connection, she would never know, much less how he could so generously offer it immediately after she had just rejected him yet again. If ever she needed proof that his feelings for her were real, there it was, plain as day. She looked up again, eyes wide.

"One year from today, we meet." He seemed to be having trouble getting his words out. "At the reflecting pool. On the mall. Right by the-"

"Coffee cart," she interrupted, then softened, almost whispering. "I know. One year from today." There were tears in his eyes now, and he shifted his weight, as if thinking about kissing her again. But apparently one rejection was enough for him, and he looked down at their joined hands and let go, turning to leave.

Or tried to. Suddenly, she couldn't do it. Everything was happening too fast. She couldn't let him leave yet, not with the way things were still between them. She knew she would shatter if he let go now, so she held on for dear life, pulling on the hand still in hers, bringing him back around to face her. Gathering her courage, she stood on tiptoe slipped her other hand behind his neck, and brought his mouth down to hers.

It was still goodbye, and they both knew it, both wished it could have been different. But she was going to Indonesia, and he was going to war, and this could be the last time they ever saw each other, whether they wanted to admit it or not, so into that kiss she poured all the pain, all the regret, all the longing and desperation and intensity that she had been feeling, and could feel him give as good as he got. His free hand slid to her waist, pulling her flush against him, their tongues and teeth battling as the long threatened tears finally spilled from eyes clenched shut. Her lungs burned with the need for air, but she couldn't stop, couldn't break this final connection.

She felt him back them down slowly, softening the kiss until the only thing left was a gentle acceptance of everything that had just passed between them. His hands clasped hers as they broke apart, panting, foreheads touching, eyes still closed. Finally, she felt him sigh, and his hands squeezed hers as his mouth moved to her ear.

"I love you." It was the barest whisper and then he was gone, and tears were streaming down her face once more. As she watched his back quickly retreat, she let out a sigh of her own. Soon she would turn around and rejoin the scientist waiting for her. Soon she would make her way through security and board a plane that would take her far away. Soon she would bury herself in the study of ancient remains, blocking out the memory of all that had just happened, for a time, at least. But first, she breathed out a confession of her own.

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **"...I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."**

 **-John Green** ** _The Fault in Our Stars_**


End file.
